UNFRIEND ME
(TransParenting • Part 8)

 

“This way is short but ultimately long.

That way is long but ultimately short.”

Talmud (Eruvin, 53b)

 

Dad,

You’re desperate for me to like you.

But you need to let me hate you.

Because I don’t need a friend.

I’m just dying for a parent.

It kills you to see me hurt.

And I use this to my advantage.

I’ll beg and moan and kick and scream.

Rupturing your every seam.

And you’ll want to just surrender,

as your mind and heart are aching.

But all it does is show me,

that your rules are made for breaking.

I’ll test your limits, pull your trigger,

Bleed you dry and drain your vigor.

But without your limits I’m unable —

To plant my roots in soil that’s stable.

Consistent patterns fuel my rhythm.

Meaning shapes me into form.

Structure feeds my day momentum.

Guidelines ground me through the storm.

Teach me to embrace the tension.

Force me to endure what ails.

I’ll kick and scream and cry for mercy.

Stay the course despite my wails.

Because I don’t need a friend.

I’m just dying for a parent.

And I’ll push you out and far away.

But inwardly I’ll hope you stay.

I’ll lock my door and curse your rules.

But wait until my tantrum cools.

The winds will pass, they always do.

Unless they’re reinforced by you —

Who bites my bait, and fears my bark.

And tiptoes not to light my spark.

And when I shriek and kick and scream —

your fear provides my engine steam.

I’ve seized control, I’ve taken power,

but soon enough my sweets turn sour.

Because when I win these battles,

we all lose the war.

I cannot see my bigger picture —

that’s what you’re here for.

The “short-long road” appears to shine,

but quickly darkens down the line.

Shortcuts set me further back,

Phantom mirrors soon to crack.

I need a broader point of view —

and that’s the reason I have you.

To set me on the “long-short path” —

And dig my heels despite my wrath.

I’ll see that what begins with pain,

paves the way for longterm gain.

And then when of my own accord,

I’ll know which path to journey toward.

I don’t yet know this, but you do,

That’s why I’ve been telling you:

I don’t need your friendship,

but your love that’s strong and firm,

To see my bigger picture.

To invest in my longterm.

And if you let me hate you,

I’ll know you’ve heard my plea.

To take the seeds for lifelong growth,

And plant them deep in me.

Because I don’t need a friend.

But I’m dying for a parent.